Uzzuzzu My Pet: Golf Dash (Nintendo Switch) – The review

There are many golf game enthusiasts and that is why we tell you from the start: Uzzuzzu My Pet: Golf Dash is not a game of golf, but rather an experience close to Super Monkey Ball reserved for children. Uzzuzzu is not its first attempt in the field of toddlers: in April 2023, we welcomed Uzzuzzu My Pet with a certain skepticism. What aboutUzzuzzu My Pet: Golf Dashonce again published by RedDeerGames and available on theeShop on December 1, 2023 at the price of twenty euros?

This is not a golf game…

Despite its somewhat misleading name, Uzzuzzu My Pet: Golf Dash is not really a golf game. Furthermore, the game doesn’t look like its official description on the eShop either.

Uzzuzzu My Pet: Golf Dash is a kind of platformer, but not really, halfway between a Super Monkey Ball and a game of golf. We play as a ball which must go from point A to point B.

We have a bar of strength and we must move by managing our movements astutely to face the obstacles that stand in front of us. There are around seventy levels that require us to constantly adapt.

Sometimes we play as a ball and we will have to think about managing the spherical shape well so as not to roll out of bounds, but we will also play as a cell phone, a block of sugar, or even toilet paper.

There will be a lot of obstacles on our way to prevent us from reaching the finish. We will have to deal in particular with the void and moving platforms, with objects that fall from the sky or even others that pursue us to death.

The gameplay will also vary from one level to another and instead of the classic point A to point B, we will have phases of basketball, racing or even billiards. Each level lasts around ten to twenty seconds and the most complicated ones will take you a maximum of three minutes to complete.

Despite this variety in gameplay and level design, the reality is that we got really bored playing Uzzuzzu My Pet: Golf Dash. The levels were varied, but not necessarily creative and we felt like we were beating around the bush during the short two hours of play needed to complete the adventure at the end.

The truly relative difficulty of the title disappointed us. The levels are either way too easy and over in ten seconds with your watch in hand, or they are very complicated and poorly designed. We particularly regret the absence of checkpoints in the more difficult levels. This artificially adds lifespan to a game which unfortunately does not have much.

And it’s not a child’s game either

The cute, colorful graphics and simplistic gameplay suggest thatUzzuzzu My Pet: Golf Dash is for a children’s audience, but the dubious humor and the sometimes vulgar names of the levels mean that we will never recommend this game for our offspring.

We also would not recommend this game for an adult who will find the adventure terribly disappointing and poor in content. Furthermore, twenty euros is far too excessive for this game with a short lifespan.

We feel the trap of the game with cute graphics to attract the player with already prepared DLCs which should have been part of the base game. The game is also translated into French “google translate” and the word “back” is translated literally by the term “dos” instead of “return” and the word “master” (the volume) is translated by “mistress “.

The graphics are interesting. The settings are classic, but do the job very well. The universe is colorful and apart from the questionable passages where we have to give things to an animal in the toilet, we enjoyed working on it.

We can’t say the same thing about the soundtrack which is repetitive as hell. Be ready to listen to “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” on repeat and at all levels.

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